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Oculus Spirit [97803]
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Ongoing saga with the high school and oldest son
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Apr 19, 2024, 12:36 PM
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So they have this app that's very nice. All the teachers are required to use it. You know what major assignments your kid has, and the due date. The app flags assignments not turned in after a certain period as MISSING. What's worse, kids are all allowed to turn in stuff late..... without penalties. Which sucks.
ANYWAY, the problem Mrs. Tiggity and I are having is partly our kid, BUT also partly the teachers/school. So son had an assignment due. He says he did it. It shows up flagged as missing. For two weeks and change it's still missing. Wife calls the teacher. SHE HASN'T GRADED IT YET OR BOTHERED TO USE THE APP TO SHOW IT WAS TURNED IN. Another course, late assignment. Son was actually late on this one, BUT a prior assignment the same teacher didn't mark it completed for several weeks.
Momma Tiggity and I are having GREAT DIFFICULTY separating the slackness of son's teachers from slackness of son. And I think this is why son is slack because he knows his teachers are as well. Kids learn by example, and his teachers are not setting the best example and wife and I are spitting into the wind.
I'm about to take over duties from the wife in this area. I will monitor everything, ask son about everything, AND contact teachers about everything. Every time son is slack, he will be punished. Every time a teacher is slack, I'll jot down a note. I don't want to influence son's grading BUT at the end of the year I WILL SUBMIT EVERY EXAMPLE OF TEACHER SLACKNESS, and expect discipline from the school concurrent with the discipline we give our son for his own slackness.
Anyone know a good private school?
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All-In [27185]
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It sounds like you're blaming the app for you outsourcing your parental duties
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Apr 19, 2024, 12:38 PM
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to it.
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Oculus Spirit [97803]
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It's generally a 50/50 chance it's son or teacher.
Apr 19, 2024, 12:50 PM
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I don't want to punish son for his teacher being slack. I don't want to punish the teacher for son being slack.
Heck, I don't even want to be having to do this. I'd prefer son get a big fat zero if something is late, like his mom and I got in high school. If I missed a deadline I got a zero in my day, only exception was an excused absence, and then I could turn it in late or make it up. Son has missed one day (excused), and he made up the one assignment he missed that day, the next school day. on the year he's had 3 "missing" assignments, we made him turn in late and he was punished accordingly for that (EVEN THOUGH HE GOT ALL A's). He's also had 4 (now?) assignment marked missing where the teacher missed the deadline to mark it as completed in the app when he DID turn it in on time.
One teacher last year waited over a month to mark anything completed or enter a grade on an assignment.
My parents didn't have an app. They didn't need one. I had teachers that would just give you a zero. No make up test, no grace period, nothing. I also never had teachers who would never take weeks (or over a month) to grade an assignment, so there's that too.
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All-In [47981]
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Have you considered
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Apr 19, 2024, 12:38 PM
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beating your son with a set of jumper cables?
I've heard it's very effective.
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Oculus Spirit [76403]
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You are supposed to use phone books bc wont bruise
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Apr 19, 2024, 12:41 PM
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If you can even find a phone book nowadays
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Hall of Famer [21986]
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U-line still publishes a B2B catalog
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Apr 19, 2024, 2:24 PM
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that'll work
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Oculus Spirit [97803]
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My grandfather used to send me outside and tell me to pick one of these
Apr 19, 2024, 1:05 PM
[ in reply to Have you considered ] |
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off the catawba tree. This picture still looks painful today.
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All-In [47798]
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Oconee county schools are getting slack.
Apr 19, 2024, 12:44 PM
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Or you in Pickens, and by Pickens I mean Easley.
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All-In [32685]
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This same thing is happening at Clemson . . . pay 1000's and 1000's of dollars
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Apr 19, 2024, 12:46 PM
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and it isn't enough for professors to keep the student portal current to within a month of what is going on with grades.
Beyond belief, really.
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Oculus Spirit [81149]
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This sounds exhausting.
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Apr 19, 2024, 12:53 PM
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I've been trying to return a pretty large and expensive item and have basically I have to everyone's job involved to make it happen.
This sounds familiar.
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CU Medallion [66222]
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American Leadership Academy
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Apr 19, 2024, 12:59 PM
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kids are way over managed today. Let them be free and be kids
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Heisman Winner [119799]
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Do teachers and students ACTUALLY TALK to each other anymore?***
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Apr 19, 2024, 1:00 PM
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Lot o points [156052]
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Psssst, this happens in private school, and you're missing a great opportunity
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Apr 19, 2024, 1:04 PM
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to teach your kid to put on his big boy pants and handle it for himself.
Tell him it's on him to talk to the teacher before or after school/class, and ensure they put it in the system. Give him a deadline that you want to see results by.
On that date, if it's not fixed, he needs to document to you the times and dates he had the conversation with the teacher to fix it. If those didn't happen, it's on him. If they did, then, and only then do you get involved.
Have taken this approach since middle school and 80% of the time my kids have been able to resolve it themselves. It teaches them to take accountability and stick up for themselves, which they will need especially in college and the real world.
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110%er [7004]
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This is great advice.
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Apr 19, 2024, 1:06 PM
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This app also seems like a prime example of tech creating unnecessary complications.
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Lot o points [156052]
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It's what teachers have always done going back to the old manual grade books.
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Apr 19, 2024, 1:07 PM
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you're just able to see it real-time now.
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Oculus Spirit [81149]
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Lot o points [156052]
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I saw your post, and truth be told
Apr 19, 2024, 1:11 PM
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I thought aero wrote it. I don't understand what's going on there.
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Oculus Spirit [81149]
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Re: I saw your post, and truth be told
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Apr 19, 2024, 1:25 PM
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I bought some new torsion axles for my boat trailer. I confirmed the part number before I ordered with the trailer manufacturer.
These axles were on sale at another vendor. They arrived, and do not match the blueprint, so they won't fit, regardless of having the same part number that the trailer manufacturer says will fit.
I spent $300 getting them to my house, and the axle vendor says "too bad", because they just sell stuff so now I'm spending $300 getting them back.
Trailer manufacturer says "wow..how about that. No Idea why its like that. Sorry".
So everyone involved says "too bad", and now I have to fix it. I have had to schedule returning the axles, getting the shipper involved, and paying for the shipping.
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Lot o points [156052]
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Ok, makes sense, but within the confines of what Im saying
Apr 19, 2024, 1:49 PM
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The alternative to you trying to get it resolved would be you just rolling over and going bottom up because you didn’t have someone to make those calls for you.
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Oculus Spirit [81149]
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And thats sounds like what happened.
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Apr 19, 2024, 2:40 PM
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Tiggity is the only one who seems to care here.
If he stopped caring, or didn't do anything about it, even though his son or the teacher already should have done something, nothing will change.
Tiggity is doing everyone's job for them.
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Lot o points [156052]
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Gotcha.
Apr 19, 2024, 3:14 PM
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I'll own completely whiffing on your point on this one, my bad.
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Lot o points [156052]
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and absolutely yes in the real world.
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Apr 19, 2024, 1:12 PM
[ in reply to In teh real world? ] |
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If you don't advocate for yourself ain't no one else going to, unless mommy and daddy fight your battles for you until they get senile.
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Oculus Spirit [81149]
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Kid doesn't care about the grades.
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Apr 19, 2024, 1:26 PM
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Teacher probably doesn't either.
Who does?
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Lot o points [156052]
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Do you know the kid?
Apr 19, 2024, 1:51 PM
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I’m giving Tiggity the benefit of the doubt and assuming kid was raised to care about grades.
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Oculus Spirit [81149]
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Not at all.
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Apr 19, 2024, 2:36 PM
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But if he did, he wouldn't have Tiggity doing all the caring for him.
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Oculus Spirit [97803]
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Forget my kid here. There are many other parents in the same boat here
Apr 19, 2024, 5:03 PM
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This isn't just something unique to our house/kid/school. You ought to see the neighborhood buddybook hens going off. I'm being tame and rational here.
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All-In [42987]
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110%er [7004]
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Do I understand correctly? There are two problems?
Apr 19, 2024, 1:04 PM
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1) teacher(s) isn't updating app in a timely manner to show that assignments are turned in?
2) sonofTig is missing/late on assignments and you can't monitor this effectively on app due to problem (1)?
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Oculus Spirit [97803]
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That would be correct.
Apr 19, 2024, 1:37 PM
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Sometimes son is late, sometimes the teacher is. And neither son nor teacher (evidently) have any accountability or consequences for not doing their jobs on time.
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Heisman Winner [135687]
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If you and your wife didn't have a heated exchange over this
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Apr 19, 2024, 1:05 PM
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then what makes you think we want to hear about it? If you're not even going to bother with a gossip-laden heated exchange post, then I don't think the Jounge can actually help with this.
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All-In [47981]
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Re: If you and your wife didn't have a heated exchange over this
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Apr 19, 2024, 1:24 PM
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Orange Blooded [4721]
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Make him handle it with his teachers
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Apr 19, 2024, 1:05 PM
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Honestly by high school he should already have the skills needed to manage his own work and micromanaging him and his teachers isn't going to help your relationship or achieve what you want in the long run.
If he doesn't do it, take away the thing he loves the most until he does.
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Lot o points [156052]
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Re: Make him handle it with his teachers
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Apr 19, 2024, 1:06 PM
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Orange Blooded [4721]
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Yep, same idea but you didn't threaten to take away the thing they
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Apr 19, 2024, 1:12 PM
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love the most to get stuff done.
Me saying "If you don't take care of this, you will not be getting on your horse again until this is resolved"
Cell phone used to be the greatest punishment ever but the horse makes her move much faster.
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Lot o points [156052]
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That seems a little juvenile to still be employing in high school.
Apr 19, 2024, 1:14 PM
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My preference would be "you're studying really hard and putting in effort and as long as you don't know that grade it could be wrong for all you know and you're getting screwed and all your work was for nothing and it's too late to fix it by the time you do find out."
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Hall of Famer [21986]
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beta way of saying
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Apr 19, 2024, 3:27 PM
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you don't have a horse to take away from your daughter
fuggin pleeb
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Lot o points [156052]
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I'm saying if I wasn't convinced my kid cared about grades,
Apr 19, 2024, 3:38 PM
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they wouldn't have a MF horse to take away.
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All-In [47981]
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Oculus Spirit [97803]
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He does. That's the problem.
Apr 19, 2024, 1:50 PM
[ in reply to Make him handle it with his teachers ] |
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It's the lack of penalties or consequences from the school
We take his stuff. He will be home tonight, no party at his friend's house, or driving, or gaming, phone, etc. until he turns it in. And he will likely get an A on it. BUT, he handles this with his teachers, and that's the problem. Maybe his impressive skills of persuasion can allow him to turn in 4-5 assignments a semester in weeks late without penalty, but that shouldn't be the case. Likewise, his teacher shouldn't take weeks to grade his work, 4-5 times a semester either.
It's a ####show. Wife and I could do nothing, and he'd probably still get A's even if we have no clue how many late assignments he turns in. But if there are no penalties for late work (we've seen none to date that WE haven't imposed), that will cost him in college (I think), if not in college, CERTAINLY in the working world.
We ask him when something is late, and he's always talked to his teacher about it. He's always given an extension, and he always ends up turning it in (sometimes several weeks late) and getting an A or B at worst. Life doesn't work that way. A job doesn't work that way either. School didn't work that way when I was in high school.
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All-In [42987]
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Re: He does. That's the problem.
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Apr 19, 2024, 1:59 PM
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All-In [43863]
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Bawce YOU aren't seeing the real problem.
Apr 19, 2024, 2:30 PM
[ in reply to He does. That's the problem. ] |
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The real issue is him turning in stuff late. Everything else is a byproduct of that, and frankly shouldn't be of concern to you.
In my house, it ain't turned in until a non-zero grade is posted.
NHI doesn't count towards an average. The 0 does.
Saying it's turned in is just words. The 0 is what's real, until it's non-zero. There are STILL consequences in my house during the gap between "I TURNED IT IN" and a non-zero grade being entered.
And I don't give 2 F's how long it takes the teacher to enter it. Not my problem.
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Orange Blooded [4100]
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Re: He does. That's the problem.
Apr 19, 2024, 4:54 PM
[ in reply to He does. That's the problem. ] |
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You'd be surprised how sad most colleges are.
Most likely college will be just like his high school.
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All-In [27185]
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Hall of Famer [24177]
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Re: Ongoing saga with the high school and oldest son
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Apr 19, 2024, 1:31 PM
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Sooo... what I'm hearing is, you want the principal to spank the teacher. I like it.
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Oculus Spirit [79292]
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Look at all these joungers offering up advice before knowing all the details.
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Apr 19, 2024, 1:31 PM
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Pleez to be poasting pigs of the teacher so that we can accurately throw out advice.
Tanks.
Tiggle_It
#69
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All-In [42987]
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Re: Look at all these joungers offering up advice before knowing all the details.
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Apr 19, 2024, 1:43 PM
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Heisman Winner [105705]
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I WILL SUBMIT EVERY EXAMPLE OF TEACHER SLACKNESS, and expect discipline from the
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Apr 19, 2024, 1:49 PM
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school concurrent with the discipline we give our son for his own slackness.
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Heisman Winner [105705]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 65250
Joined: 12/2/02
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Admin would have a FIELD DAY with that letter. It would get sent around and you
3
Apr 19, 2024, 1:57 PM
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would be endlessly mocked.
You are helicopter parenting more than Kobe on this one. Kid is in high school, time to suck it up and learn to handle your own business. And if he is, then you stay out of it.
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All-In [43863]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 18153
Joined: 4/24/15
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Whew boy howdy. This one hits close to home. Obed and KMS are
1
Apr 19, 2024, 1:58 PM
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correct here, but allow me to go a bit deeper and share a few experiences.
TRDJuanita 1 (oldest): Figured out real quick that "teach hasn't put the grades in" is BS.
TRDJuanita Dos (middle): Never a problem, she's always been ALL OVER this stuff. Makes it to where it's easier for the teacher to do what they are supposed to rather than dealing with her.
TRDJuanita Tres (youngest): Just went through this with her. Jig is up.
Here's the sitch. First off, you SHOULD have a pretty good idea for what you are working with in terms of your kid the student.
Kid turns in stuff on time, teach grades it, posts grade, no problem. Is it possible a teacher overlooks it and submits a 0? Sure, but not more than 1x per semester per kid.
Mmmkay. Kid turns in stuff on time and teach is late to grade it. Ok fine. Teach ain't going in there and putting in a 0, then grading, then correcting. Nope. That's EXTRA work on the teach, ya dig?
Alright. Kid turns in stuff LATE. Teach has already submitted a 0. Now the kid needs to turn they stuff in and have to coax the teach a bit to grade and post.
Here's the reality. 99% of the time the kid is at fault. They are at fault for turning stuff in late. If on time, it ain't a zero, THEY TELLIN YOU A LIE. If late, it's their responsibility to get it updated asap. Otherwise their GD grade is what it says it is in the portal and we go from there.
Take that MFs phone and/or car, and tell 'em no plans with friends until grades are acceptable. Watch how fast the work gets turned in and updated.
Kid HAS to own the grades. Even the mere THOUGHT in your head that the teacher is somehow to blame will somehow permeate your kid's way of thinking and he'll carry on with a victim mentality.
STAND BEHIND THE TEACHER. Make the kid 100% accountable. And understand in the back of your brain that teachers may very well make a mistake, but that's ALSO THE KID'S RESPONSIBILITY to work through with said teach. The end.
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Hall of Famer [21986]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 8623
Joined: 9/11/11
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sidebar
Apr 19, 2024, 2:29 PM
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did you have 2 girls and went for a boy for #3 and got a girl? or were y'all just planning to have 3 the whole time and you got 3 girls?
how is it w/ 3 girls? b/c I'm ready to roll the dice.
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All-In [43863]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 18153
Joined: 4/24/15
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Uhh. We got pregnant with #1 by accident
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Apr 19, 2024, 2:33 PM
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tried for #2, then #3 was dropped off by a stork.
Never went for a boy or girl, just enjoyed the process.
Hard. Real hard. Rewarding at times, whatever the opposite of that is at times. Generally a shidshow until they get to moving out.
Today? Peaceful AF with 1 home. Holidays and family gatherings still flare up my PTSD though.
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Hall of Famer [21986]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 8623
Joined: 9/11/11
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by accident?
Apr 19, 2024, 3:24 PM
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slip and fall?
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Heisman Winner [105705]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 65250
Joined: 12/2/02
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There is real science that shows that Men who father multiple girls are
7
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Apr 19, 2024, 2:36 PM
[ in reply to sidebar ] |
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gay
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All-In [31521]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 10213
Joined: 1/28/15
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Goddamnit***
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Apr 20, 2024, 6:42 AM
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110%er [9105]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 11351
Joined: 10/15/99
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Same issue, in the end it falls on the kid due to late assignment.
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Apr 19, 2024, 2:16 PM
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Kidof missed out on multiple activities last weekend due to not turning an assignment in on time and teach taking weeks to turn it in.
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Hall of Famer [21986]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 8623
Joined: 9/11/11
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K.I.S.S.
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Apr 19, 2024, 2:27 PM
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mandate: all A's
IRDGAF bout the who, the how, the why, the when, the what....nunna datshit.
4.0 or bust. and it's all on you, kid.
that's how I was raised. and my daughters will be the same.
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CU Medallion [58472]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 46361
Joined: 4/23/00
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This will make everyone love you.***
Apr 19, 2024, 2:42 PM
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Oculus Spirit [97803]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 64928
Joined: 7/13/02
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I'm old enough now DGAF***
Apr 19, 2024, 5:00 PM
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Orange Blooded [4100]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 2477
Joined: 11/30/98
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Re: Ongoing saga with the high school and oldest son
Apr 19, 2024, 4:52 PM
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Raising kids: You're doing it wrong.
Why the F are you helicopter parenting your kid?
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