Replies: 42
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CU Medallion [56472]
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Need Lunge halp -- gift ideas.
May 31, 2013, 10:41 AM
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My 8 months pregnant friend is turning 36 next week. What should I get this ####? Usually I'm on point with this sorta stuff, but I'm stumped this time.
I know I can rely on you guys. Don't let me down.
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Oculus Spirit [76229]
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Why are you buying gifts for this person?***
May 31, 2013, 10:43 AM
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All-TigerNet [12851]
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Babydaddy gift?***
May 31, 2013, 10:47 AM
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CU Medallion [56472]
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Heisman Winner [106864]
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Do you cut her grass? AND bag the clippings? If so, you
May 31, 2013, 10:55 AM
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are just going to #### her anyway.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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Perfect time. She can't get pregs, and she's probably
May 31, 2013, 11:02 AM
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got a pretty low self-image right now
She'd let you do anything.
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All-TigerNet [11208]
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Re: Perfect time. She can't get pregs, and she's probably
May 31, 2013, 11:04 AM
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What if the baby grabs the head?
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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three way?***
May 31, 2013, 11:05 AM
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All-TigerNet [11208]
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strange***
May 31, 2013, 11:17 AM
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Hall of Famer [21877]
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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"Just like Mrs. Murc's buttonhole"***
May 31, 2013, 10:56 AM
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Oculus Spirit [76229]
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First of all, that is some #### I'd pull. Second
May 31, 2013, 10:55 AM
[ in reply to Because we're friends. ] |
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I stopped with the birthday gifts for the exes after they got married. It no longer seemed kosher to be extra nice to these ladies.
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CU Medallion [56472]
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It's a very aero situation.
May 31, 2013, 10:58 AM
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We're really past the point of being exes, though. Plus she always gets me killer #### for my birthday/Xmas.
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Oculus Spirit [76229]
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In this case, I would aim for something that is for her and
May 31, 2013, 11:02 AM
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not baby related. She is probably growing tired that by now.
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Heisman Winner [106864]
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ALWAYS buy pregnant women some clothes, in
May 31, 2013, 10:43 AM
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their old size. They love to be reminded of how they USED to look. Skimpy bikinis would be great for this time of year. At 36 and preggers, she will LOVE it. Trust me.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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Remind her that she's only sitting fat because of how
May 31, 2013, 10:46 AM
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pregnant and fat she looks.
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Heisman Winner [106864]
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And make sure you compliment her toes that look like
May 31, 2013, 10:47 AM
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sausages.
#fatasses
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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And that her bright red stretch marks look like
May 31, 2013, 10:53 AM
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racing stripes, or that she's some fanciful half woman/half tiger.
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Heisman Winner [106864]
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Half breed like a mermaid, but not nearly as hot in a bikini***
May 31, 2013, 10:54 AM
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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One way ticket to pound town.
May 31, 2013, 10:45 AM
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I suggest checking out the annual ITB Festival while you visit.
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Oculus Spirit [79708]
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DNA test***
May 31, 2013, 10:45 AM
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All-TigerNet [12066]
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Slim Fast
May 31, 2013, 10:48 AM
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She's going to need to shed some lbs soon
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Orange Blooded [2876]
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Offer to
May 31, 2013, 10:52 AM
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sell her child on ebay in two weeks when she begins to hate it for crying during the night.
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Orange Blooded [4712]
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This
May 31, 2013, 10:50 AM
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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what's going on here?***
May 31, 2013, 10:55 AM
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Oculus Spirit [76229]
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Lap dance at a football game.***
May 31, 2013, 10:56 AM
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null
Message was edited by: aerozeptallica®
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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Why can't she wait till the game's over?***
May 31, 2013, 10:58 AM
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Oculus Spirit [76229]
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She is bored now. Will probably be too drunk to move later.***
May 31, 2013, 10:58 AM
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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win/win***
May 31, 2013, 10:59 AM
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Oculus Spirit [76229]
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If you like it like that. Too much work in my book.***
May 31, 2013, 11:03 AM
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Oculus Spirit [79708]
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Sounds like my ex...
May 31, 2013, 11:03 AM
[ in reply to She is bored now. Will probably be too drunk to move later.*** ] |
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She got drunk and kept sticking her hands down my pants at a Peach Bowl a few years back...While I understand it sounds awesome, it is a little awkward in front of thousands of other people.
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Oculus Spirit [76229]
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What is the worst that could happen?
May 31, 2013, 11:08 AM
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Other than her getting mad when you said stop and finding some other dude to do that with.
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Oculus Spirit [79708]
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Probably jail...in Atlanta. I never want to see jail there.***
May 31, 2013, 11:29 AM
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Heisman Winner [136502]
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Heisman Winner [136502]
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DARN YOU AND YOUR QUICK EDITING.***
May 31, 2013, 11:00 AM
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All-TigerNet [10210]
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Baby clothes, mobile for crib, monitor, diapers,
May 31, 2013, 10:51 AM
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teddy bear or stuffed tiger ( if she is a Clemson fan).
The monitors are very helpful.
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All-In [48280]
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Bourbon. She'll need it.***
May 31, 2013, 10:55 AM
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Heisman Winner [106864]
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SRS
May 31, 2013, 10:56 AM
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good bottle of wine. She hasn't drank for 36 weeks and might not for a while breast feeding, but she can have that to look forward too.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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May I suggest the Yellow Tail Riesling?***
May 31, 2013, 10:59 AM
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Heisman Winner [106864]
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at $8 per bottle, that may be too much. Probably stick to
May 31, 2013, 11:02 AM
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Wild Irish Rose.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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It also comes in a "refrigerator cask" with easy pour
May 31, 2013, 11:06 AM
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spout.
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Rock Defender [54]
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Buy the fiance a hooker
May 31, 2013, 11:55 AM
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He'll never get laid again after the kid. This actually benefits the #### cuz he'll be hassling her all the time for some poonanny so a prostitute can provide some relief.
#everyonewins
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All-TigerNet [11309]
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Is it her first kid?
May 31, 2013, 12:59 PM
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You could always go cheap with a coupon to watch the baby for a couple hours so she and her fiance can break away for a quiet dinner after the baby is born. Put "valid in October, 2013" or something like that on it so you're not stuck with a brand new baby on your hands. Exclude the dates of Clemson games.
Otherwise I got nothin'.
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Replies: 42
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