Now that I've filed my taxes, I'd like to reflect...
Apr 13, 2016, 11:59 PM
On my experience last year. We didn't receive our return until months later. Midway through June and we had no return. Attempting to track it on the IRS website yielded no information. Our return was a lot larger last year due to our move to Charleston, so I started to fear an audit.
So, on a weekday in June, I decided to venture out to Charleston's IRS office for answers.
You see, you can't call the IRS to get answers or a live person. Try it. See if you can get a live person on the phone and I'll buy you a beer. It becomes very clear that they set up the system to keep you running in circles and disconnect you.
When I arrived at the office, I met a woman in the elevator who was in the same boat as me. That comforted me a little; maybe we could get a McAudit together and a side of fries.
I stepped into the office first. It's about 1 p.m. I see a sign that says they were no longer receiving anyone else today. I stood there, staring at the sign and drooling on myself like xtiger trying to complete a paint-by-numbers.
"What do you need, sir?"
I looked up to see an armed guard. He stood with one foot forward, his right arm slightly raised... just in case. That's right. The first live human being I was able to reach at the IRS carried a gun and looked at me like I was a threat.
When I told him why I had arrived and he realized I was, in fact, not a crazy Tea Party member coming to shoot up the place, he informed me that I should return in the morning. Early. As in bring a chair and sit outside the office at least an hour before it opened. Seriously. That's exactly what he said.
When I let him know that wasn't a satisfactory answer and that I simply needed to talk to someone on the phone, he gave me a business card with a generic number and told me some trick I could do to get a live person on the phone.
About an hour later at home, I would find that he was a dirty liar.
Two weeks later, my refund arrived in my account. All in all, over three months since I had filed it (I filed in mid March).
All in all, I give the IRS 3.5 stars for the experience. Would do business with them again. Clean restrooms. Top-notch service and people skills.