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Associate AD [841]
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Serious question... dadnet
Aug 2, 2018, 10:25 PM
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Son was picked last today in football camp for the scrimmage. Wife is very upset and I am not sure what to do. He wants to play but when her and I talk (we both played sports very well when we were younger), it just seems like football isn’t his thing.
This is so against what I want for him, but the fact that he wants to do it too just breaks our hearts. What should I do? Serious replies only pot favor.
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Associate AD [841]
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por favor******
Aug 2, 2018, 10:26 PM
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All-In [45885]
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Since he's Spanish
Aug 3, 2018, 2:21 AM
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Definitely Soccer.
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Associate AD [841]
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por favor******
Aug 2, 2018, 10:26 PM
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Orange Blooded [3369]
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Re: Serious question... dadnet
Aug 2, 2018, 10:29 PM
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Just support him, remember it’s not about you or your wife. It’s about him and if he is having fun, enjoying it . Let him do his thing.
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CU Guru [1776]
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Start by telling him you love him, but do that
Aug 2, 2018, 10:32 PM
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in some manly kind of way while you give him a bear hug. Spend time every day working on fundamentals. After that, it's kind of out of your hands.
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Associate AD [841]
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Re: Start by telling him you love him, but do that
Aug 2, 2018, 10:35 PM
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I was thinking about that for this weekend. Obviously it hurt his feelings but since he’s in the mite league (first years) I’m not quite sure that he knows exactly what to do.
I kinda blame myself for not having more time as I work two jobs like many of us. But I am going to try to work with him this weekend. They have him set up at defensive line.
It’s like a rock and a hard place, I’m frustrated because I am supposed to assume he knows what to do. At the same time I know he doesn’t know a lot about it because I haven’t had a ton of time to work with him but blocking and going after the ball hopefully won’t be too bad to show him.
I will definitely go the bear hug route first.
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All-In [40102]
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Just saw the mite thing. Way too early to discourage him. Love on him and be proud and
Aug 2, 2018, 10:40 PM
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Don’t be like the other dufuses who all think their kids will play professional sports.
Message was edited by: lovingit®
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Associate AD [841]
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Re: Just saw the mite thing. Way too early to discourage him. Love on him and be proud and
Aug 2, 2018, 10:48 PM
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Gotcha. I am definitely not one of those but after playing for many years sports certainly teach invaluable life lessons. Especially how to deal with defeat.
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CU Guru [1898]
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There are many wins and defeats in life besides
Aug 3, 2018, 12:01 AM
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sports. He'll learn from them. Let him be himself and he will turn out OK.
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Legend [16264]
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Kids develop completely different at any age.
Aug 2, 2018, 10:33 PM
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If he wants to play football, encourage it and don't worry about the results. We learn much more to succeed in sports and life getting our ##### handed to us than dishing it out.
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All-TigerNet [10822]
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my kids are young so I don't have experience
Aug 2, 2018, 10:35 PM
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The only thing i can think of is that some of the greatest players ever weren't just naturals. I.e. Michael Jordan. He was cut in high school and used it as motivation.
The kid could be a late bloomer. It happens to a lot of guys. If it's really his passion he will probably have to out work other kids.
Get someone to teach him long snapping. If he can work hard at that he can add a lot of value on special teams.
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Associate AD [841]
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Re: my kids are young so I don't have experience
Aug 2, 2018, 10:36 PM
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That is what we are hoping is that he can be a late bloomer. He is a little better at soccer but he wants to play football more than anything.
Thank you for the advice all.
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Orange Blooded [2877]
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There is your answer
Aug 2, 2018, 10:38 PM
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Kickers are invaluable
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All-In [40102]
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It depends some on his age, height, weight, speed, genetics
Aug 2, 2018, 10:38 PM
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Also size of school. The high school my son will feed into, nobody gets cut. My son will never make his living as an athlete but I still encourage him to play sports because I think there are some things that athletics teaches that school can’t. Like being on a team and reaching a goal, competition, how to deal with a-holes.
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Associate AD [841]
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Re: It depends some on his age, height, weight, speed, genetics
Aug 2, 2018, 10:40 PM
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I keep trying to tell myself things like that to just remember that he needs to have fun. Heck I came home from work tonight and am almost as worked up as her. You can tell it is eating at her because I’ll say one comment then she opens up about something else at the practice.
Thank you
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110%er [6180]
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Re: Serious question... dadnet
Aug 2, 2018, 10:50 PM
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He’s outside breathing fresh air and getting exercise. As long as he doesn’t have a jack wad coach punishing little kids y’all are doing great. One of the best ways for kids to learn about football is to watch games with you and point things out to him. Just knowing basic rules and situations can put him ahead of other kids. Coaches love coachable kids at any age.
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Orange Blooded [4153]
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Re: Serious question... dadnet
Aug 2, 2018, 11:13 PM
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At the age your child is now he may not have the coordination, skill set, etc. to be good at the sport must less great. However, do not write him off or get discouraged. My baby boy could not find his A*** with both hands at age 9-12 years old. One day it clicked. He was never a super star in sports in school but he played football, soccer and tennis Middle and High School. He went to Clemson on ROTC Scholarship and manager to survive. Today he is a Captain in the Army Rangers. Life is good. Just tell your son to do his best and be there for him when he has bad days and good days. If you do this he will be ok. Maybe not a super star but a star. Remember Life is good. God is on your side.
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Hall of Famer [24491]
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A great question. What comes to mind is from having
Aug 2, 2018, 11:15 PM
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two just finish college and me thinking about what I would do different if I could live it again. This may seem simplistic, but all I know is what happened to me. You don't need me to tell you what to do. You'll know.
My son was not a sports nut but played for the fun of it, so it was easy for me to convey my support for higher things like effort and sportsmanship. Then my daughter came along and decided to play on her high school golf team, and was serious about it, wanted to be good. I was in heaven. I really got into it, getting her instruction and hitting balls with her daily, constantly encouraging, constantly coaching. I never criticized a bad shot or round, but each one sent me into 'coach' mode, teaching her how to handle disappointment in order to play to potential the next shot or round. She was elected captain her senior year and was medalist in a couple of tournaments. Yessir, that's my daughter, right there!
Years later I realized I had denied her what she was seeking. She wanted to be like her dad. She wanted her dad to be proud of her. I was an enthusiast who loved the game and worked at it. I respected accomplished golfers and sought their respect. I found much satisfaction in all that. She looked up to that guy, and all she wanted was for him to be proud of her. What she got instead was a guy who pushed her to be better and was proud of her accomplishments.
If I could live three years over again it would be those three. I have spent all the years since trying to communicate that I am proud of who she is, not what she does. Golf could have been a wonderful venue for that, but I missed it. I taught her I was proud of what she could do, not how she went about it. I can't promise I will ever overcome those three years.
The cats in the cradle and the silver spoon. LIttle Boy Blue and the man in the moon. When you coming home, son? I don't know when, but we'll get together then, dad. You know well have a good time then.
And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me, He'd grown up just like me. My boy was just like me.
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Associate AD [841]
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Re: A great question. What comes to mind is from having
Aug 2, 2018, 11:24 PM
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Excellent post and I appreciate the thought and effort that you put into it. Obviously we all want our kids to excel and in hindsight I simply need to support him. Having conscious knowledge of this is even more challenging in the moment. I think one thing I need to work on is balancing my frustration and turning it into something that he can build upon... if that makes sense.
I am also TUing everyone in this thread best I can. Thank you all.
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Asst Coach [703]
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Re: Serious question... dadnet
Aug 2, 2018, 11:52 PM
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Last guy picked = Hunter Renfrow
Hard work and playing multiple sports will make him better and also enjoy the privilege of being on a team.
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CU Guru [1453]
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Gee Whiz, Listen to Yourself........
Aug 3, 2018, 12:38 AM
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"I am upset because MY kid was picked last."
It happens. It will happen again. As long as he is happy, outdoors, doing what he wants to do with the kids he wants to do it with why would you be upset?
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CU Guru [1094]
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Re: Serious question... dadnet
Aug 3, 2018, 2:01 AM
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Can’t say I’ve gotten to the parenting stage in my life yet but from living Sports for years I can tell you this. Give it time and if he really does want to play the game, then go to work. Hard work does wonders. If God has your boy to be a football player then that boy will work his tail off to get better. But if not, there is something else God has planned for him. Plus baseball is pretty fun too(;
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All-In [45885]
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How about a switch to soccer....
Aug 3, 2018, 2:15 AM
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Since you are being vague with info you are leaving everybody in the dark as to what his strengths and weaknesses are. So I'm guessing on the soccer switch. I wasn't big enough for football. I had the quickness and the speed. And there was no organized soccer then(early 70s) as there is now in US.
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110%er [7245]
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Not a dad, but here's what I would do if it were me.
Aug 3, 2018, 3:03 AM
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Your son is way too young to be worried about performance just yet. It's more about development both mentally and physically for the game. His only goal should be to learn about the positions and get to understand the craft. Heck, not even the playbook should be a concern at this point. He's just now learning about each position and the individual roles of the position. It appears as if your son has a "can do" attitude and to steer him away from adversity could destroy that. At this point, let him attempt to be the best that he can be and learn what he can learn. As he develops and grows older he may just turn out to be a 5 Star Recruit that Clemson takes a huge interest in. For now, let him be a kid and enjoy his youth. The most important lesson for him to learn right now is having fun.
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110%er [9033]
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Re: Serious question... dadnet
Aug 3, 2018, 6:15 AM
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My take? (I'm a HS pole vault coach with a couple of collegiate athletes that I coach on the side).
Naturally, mom will be upset. It means she cares about her kid, way to go mom! The area to be careful is: be careful with how you let him see you react. Be upset in private with your wife, don't let him see you. If he is upset about being picked last, it is a wonderful teaching moment. Very few get to be the "best" or picked 1st. Picked last? Make the other team regret not picking you. Compete your butt off, be a great teammate, you'll learn more from that than being 1st pick.
In my experience the "best" kids (especially HS level athletes) are the least well adjusted because they take winning and their athleticism for granted. They are often difficult to coach. Your son, who may not be the best athlete is the kid I want! They work harder, they listen to coaching are better teammates and are better able to become more self-aware, self critical athletes and adults.
Celebrate your son for who he is, not what he accomplishes in the sports world. Football may not be his thing, but the camaraderie and relationships that are built on the field and in the locker room are difficult to match.
Sorry to prattle on. He will be fine. Teach him the mantra: "What stands in the way, becomes the way."
God bless you guys and best of luck to your son. At the end of the day - it's about enjoying what you do.
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Orange Blooded [2945]
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As Dr Phil used to say "Guess what? It'snot about you!"
Aug 3, 2018, 7:26 AM
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Jk but what winit said is right it's up to your son which sport he likes and enjoys. He's lucky to have parents who care about and love him as much as you two. If he really loves it to the point where it is his passion he will get better. Now I have given you my opinion but take it with a salt grain because I am by no means a child or parental psychologist! Have a great weekend.
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110%er [7831]
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Re: Serious question... dadnet
Aug 3, 2018, 7:29 AM
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Just remember Hershel Walker was a fat kid that wasn’t at the top of everyone’s list in his youth.
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Legend [17929]
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Let him play. There is more to this than just football.
Aug 3, 2018, 7:57 AM
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...Or any other sport, for that matter. This is about learning what life is all about. The first lesson he can learn with this is that people do get "placed" in life. Based on their abilities, their personality, or, just from perceptions the individual builds of themselves.
All of these he can improve in. And even if his improvements do not make him the best among that group, it still makes him better. He becomes better because he learns discipline, he learns how to be a "part" of the team and not the "highlight" of the team, and he learns how to be a friend to others - and who he wants to be friends with in life.
There will be highs and lows...but mom and dad should encourage and help build the best character within their child that is possible. His disappoints should not come because he thinks his parents don't believe in him or because they think he "just isn't good enough". This just isn't about the child's success or failure...it is also about the parents. Your are playing a new game now. How well you play depends on how well you grow too.
Have fun and enjoy life! And let the children learn how to that through you.
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Orange Blooded [3832]
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Re: Serious question... dadnet
Aug 3, 2018, 8:32 AM
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I'm 72 and have no children. However, many years ago I coached an 8-12 years old Football team. I had Parents come to me and ask me not to play their son. They said he was 8 years old and was very small and knew nothing about football and neither did they. I told them everyone got to play but I would limit his participation. I put him on the kickoff team and assigned a bigger guy to "protect" him. Told him he better not let the small kid get hurt. Opening kickoff of first game, we kickoff and guy runs it straight up the middle. He is breaking tackles and I know he is going to score. But know the smallest kid on the field moves to center of field and makes the tackle. I couldn't believe it. I looked around and parents were hollering and clapping. After that he played a pretty good bit and did okay. So I guess what I'm saying is give you kid a chance to be himself. Teach him what you can but let him learn on his own. If he wants it, he may not be an all-American,but might be successful.
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