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All-TigerNet [13605]
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Ot: family issues question about kids and sex
Jan 6, 2022, 1:24 PM
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Just wanting opinions on how to handle this or if I'm wrong in thinking this way:
I'm about to get remarried to a doctor with a child who is gay. A 16 year old.
Anyhow, I allowed her and her "friend" to stay over and caught the friend pleasuring my soon to be step daughter. I feel like I'm as liberal and as open minded as possible when it comes to these issues but also having a hard time accepting this because:
What happens when my two straight sons want to have a girlfriend over for the night and I say no, because it may lead to things I feel like they aren't ready for? Would I not feel like a hypocrite for allowing her but not them? Would I not be a hypocrite to my boys?
I know two girls can't get pregnant but sex is sex imho. Am I wrong?
(And that is how my soon to be wife looks at it, she can't get pregnant by a girl rubbing her but in my eyes, it is still sex)
Thoughts?
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All-TigerNet [13605]
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Re: Ot: family issues question about kids and sex
Jan 6, 2022, 1:27 PM
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To add, I plan to sit down with the soon to be step daughter soon and have a discussion about where I stand on this. I dont care if girls stay over, but hands off in my house.
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Re: Ot: family issues question about kids and sex
Jan 6, 2022, 2:02 PM
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Just keep in mind that you're a step-dad...
Stepdads come and go, and I promise you they care far more about what mom does for them after their shift is done than they care about you.
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All-TigerNet [13605]
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Re: Ot: family issues question about kids and sex
Jan 6, 2022, 2:05 PM
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True.
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110%er [6241]
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following******
Jan 6, 2022, 1:27 PM
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All-In [46906]
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That's a tough one
Jan 6, 2022, 1:29 PM
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I'm dreading the whole time period before my kids even get to that stage.
I don't want my kids to have the type of reaction to anything sexual my parents had. But I also don't want them having sex either.
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All-TigerNet [13605]
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Re: That's a tough one
Jan 6, 2022, 1:32 PM
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Same lol
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All-In [46906]
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My wife is completely different. She means we are going
Jan 6, 2022, 1:35 PM
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to teach them and explicitly how to protect themselves. Which I agree with because keeping a 16 year old from having sex is impossible.
My sex talk was biological and threats only.
She wants to have a whole series on it
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All-TigerNet [13605]
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Re: That's a tough one
Jan 6, 2022, 1:33 PM
[ in reply to That's a tough one ] |
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On one hand, I'd rather them have sex in my home instead of a dirt road somewhere but on the other hand, I hope they're 25 before they even think about it lol
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All-In [46906]
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Me too. Even though I fully understand that is unrealistic***
Jan 6, 2022, 1:35 PM
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CU Medallion [64837]
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So let me get this straight:
Jan 6, 2022, 1:38 PM
[ in reply to That's a tough one ] |
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You want to be cool and have an easy job parenting, but you want your kids to turn out good.... so your plan is to just hope the kids naturally do the right thing.
Good luck.
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All-In [46906]
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What?***
Jan 6, 2022, 1:50 PM
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Rock Defender [54]
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All-TigerNet [13605]
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Re: That's a tough one
Jan 6, 2022, 1:51 PM
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I already am to my oldest and he is only 12 lol
He is a teen, already.
He even knows more about the #### weather and i'm although retired much too early, a meteorologist.
The soon to be step daughter is a sweet heart though. Doesn't talk back, listens to me, etc. Just this one issue bothers me. Being gay doesn't bother me, doing it in my home at that young of a age bothers me. 16 is still too young to definitely know you're gay, imho. She has too much life to live before she truly knows.
BTW, you must be older than I had you pegged or you had kids much younger than I did. I was 37 when my first was born. Had my stroke at 46, got full custody of my boys at 47. Been a whirlwind.
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Rock Defender [54]
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Re: That's a tough one
Jan 6, 2022, 1:59 PM
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All-In [34764]
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You need to have this settled before you walk
Jan 6, 2022, 1:37 PM
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down the aisle, or you end up having more marriages than ot & pigguru combined.
Hth
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All-TigerNet [13605]
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Re: You need to have this settled before you walk
Jan 6, 2022, 1:44 PM
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Oh yeah, it's going to be settled beforehand. Although, this is really the only issue we've had that we don't see 100% eye to eye on.
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Oculus Spirit [81388]
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Lot o points [156280]
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Pro-tip
Jan 6, 2022, 2:23 PM
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That’s Crash’s pa, and no I think it’s been 15+ years since he went to his great reward.
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Oculus Spirit [81388]
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And now I know
Jan 6, 2022, 2:26 PM
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The only thing I really remember about him was him telling me how wrong I was when I said that in the Korean war, P-51s were getting shot down by Mig 15's as the P-51's went along as protection for the B-29's doing bombing runs.
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All-TigerNet [13294]
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Re: Ot: family issues question about kids and sex
Jan 6, 2022, 1:37 PM
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Just be a full-fledged liberal. They are all hypocrites, but never feel like one. Win-win
Seriously though, kids old enough to drive, should never have sleep-overs.
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110%er [9122]
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Your house, you make the rules whatever the preference***
Jan 6, 2022, 1:45 PM
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110%er [9122]
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Re: Your house, you make the rules whatever the preference
Jan 6, 2022, 1:46 PM
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What happens when she goes bi?
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Rock Defender [54]
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Re: Your house, you make the rules whatever the preference
Jan 6, 2022, 1:49 PM
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All-TigerNet [13605]
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Re: Your house, you make the rules whatever the preference
Jan 6, 2022, 1:55 PM
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One of the teachers from the local high school tells me about 50% of the girls in her classes claim they're gay. I don't know that the girls are trying to be woke or cool or whatever but I highly doubt that many are gay.
And this in a red state, very red mountains of Tennessee.
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All-In [46906]
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It happens
Jan 6, 2022, 1:57 PM
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usually every couple of years we have a very predatory gay student transfer in and "turns" a handful of the girls gay or whatever. Bunch of drama ensues. predatory student leaves because of the issues (why she was a transfer in the first place). Girls she "turned" go back to their boyfriends.
Always the girls. Never the guys
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Rock Defender [54]
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Re: It happens
Jan 6, 2022, 2:13 PM
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All-TigerNet [13605]
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Re: It happens
Jan 6, 2022, 2:24 PM
[ in reply to It happens ] |
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I do think society is to blame some when it comes to girls with girls.
We've taught girls that it's beautiful to see two girls together. Pick up a magazine and it's almost always two girls. Never two guys.
When our daughters find our stash of adult magazines, they'll see two women playing around, etc.
Also, I believe many girls don't look at it as sex. Hey, I can remain a Virgin a little longer although I'm getting rubbed on and licked on by another female.
It's all the same to me. Sex is sex.
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110%er [9122]
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lol, magazines, you mean online right ;-)***
Jan 6, 2022, 4:26 PM
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All-TigerNet [13605]
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Re: lol, magazines, you mean online right ;-)***
Jan 6, 2022, 4:31 PM
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Haha
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All-TigerNet [13605]
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Re: Your house, you make the rules whatever the preference
Jan 6, 2022, 1:52 PM
[ in reply to Re: Your house, you make the rules whatever the preference ] |
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That's one of my concerns. She is much too young to truly know she is gay.
And what happens if she decides to try out men? How could we tell her no then, but yes when it's the same sex?
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All-TigerNet [13605]
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Re: Your house, you make the rules whatever the preference***
Jan 6, 2022, 1:56 PM
[ in reply to Your house, you make the rules whatever the preference*** ] |
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This is true.
I guess I really wanted to see if other men would tell me I'm wrong in how I think and if I needed to make some changes in how I feel.
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Oculus Spirit [94284]
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I should say I would keep out of it.
Jan 6, 2022, 2:34 PM
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It might be wise to try and temper the child's natural parent but step parents can't win unless they are in 100% agreement with the other parent. And remember, you move their opinion with a feather not a hammer.
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Oculus Spirit [97940]
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I'm with you here. Not unreasonable. It's not just about
Jan 6, 2022, 2:36 PM
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getting pregnant.
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All-In [31659]
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Re: Ot: family issues question about kids and sex
Jan 6, 2022, 2:38 PM
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Buddy there ain’t nothing you or anybody else can do to keep 16 year olds from screwing each other. You can keep it out of your house, but then it’ll just be in your car or yard.
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Rock Defender [54]
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Re: Ot: family issues question about kids and sex
Jan 6, 2022, 2:44 PM
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All-TigerNet [13605]
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Re: Ot: family issues question about kids and sex
Jan 6, 2022, 2:53 PM
[ in reply to Re: Ot: family issues question about kids and sex ] |
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It isn't about keeping her from screwing.
It's about allowing it freely and then telling my straight boys I won't allow girls to sleep with them in my home. I don't want to be a hypocrite.
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Rock Defender [54]
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Re: Ot: family issues question about kids and sex
Jan 6, 2022, 2:55 PM
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All-In [26968]
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Not gonna get into specifics of other issues
Jan 6, 2022, 2:40 PM
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related to your post, because you didn't ask about that, but I completely agree with, if it makes you uncomfortable with something happening in your house, you are well within your rights to disallow it. And you should err on the side of caution.
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All-In [47968]
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Can't help. Both my daughters are girls and have boyfriends
Jan 6, 2022, 2:53 PM
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#sorrybutalsoweneedpigs
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All-TigerNet [13605]
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Re: Can't help. Both my daughters are girls and have boyfriends
Jan 6, 2022, 2:54 PM
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LOL
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All-TigerNet [13605]
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Re: Can't help. Both my daughters are girls and have boyfriends
Jan 6, 2022, 2:56 PM
[ in reply to Can't help. Both my daughters are girls and have boyfriends ] |
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Pigs is actually how I caught them. Poor girl forgot for a moment that I have cameras in a couple of rooms.
No nudity, just her friends hand down the pants of step daughter. I mean it was obvious but no nudity.
Seen it and deleted it.
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Orange Blooded [4679]
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Re: Ot: family issues question about kids and sex
Jan 6, 2022, 3:02 PM
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Key sentence, “I am about to get remarried”. You and your fiancé had better have a long talk. I know what I would do but I’m not going to say. But this I do know, if you and the fiancé can’t see eye to eye on this your marriage is off to an awful start.
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All-TigerNet [13605]
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Re: Ot: family issues question about kids and sex
Jan 6, 2022, 3:07 PM
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If we had several issues we disagreed on, I'd agree with you.
This is the only issue we don't agree on so I don't know that it would cause a lot of issues. I could be wrong.
The future wife now says she does see it the way I do and will talk to the daughter. We will see how it goes and if there is any animosity.
Again, I don't care that she is gay or getting rubbed on, I just don't want to be in the position of having to explain to my son's why I make a difference when they're ready to bring girls home. I think we'll be ok.
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All-TigerNet [13605]
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Orange Blooded [4679]
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Re: Ot: family issues question about kids and sex
Jan 6, 2022, 4:31 PM
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Lol.
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All-In [42443]
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Re: Ot: family issues question about kids and sex
Jan 6, 2022, 3:12 PM
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What happens when my two straight sons want to have a girlfriend over for the night and I say no, because it may lead to things I feel like they aren't ready for?
If you say yes to this, you and your sons may have to worry more about what their dads do as a reaction.
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All-TigerNet [13605]
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Re: Ot: family issues question about kids and sex
Jan 6, 2022, 3:19 PM
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Yep to this as well.
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All-TigerNet [13605]
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Re: Ot: family issues question about kids and sex
Jan 6, 2022, 3:21 PM
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I've learned tho that alot of parents are ok with it. I'm not one of those parents.
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