Re: What is the world coming to?

DougKingsmoreCrusade

CU Guru [1379]

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You are not the one I'd want to pick a fight with lol

Jan 19, 2024, 4:09 AM

But in all seriousness, parents acting out of control and violence towards officials in youth rec sports has been a rising issue I've heard about over the past few years. Why it's happening is anybody's guess. Overall societal degeneration in the West perhaps? As others have said, some children have been told they're special too much, spoiled, enabled, and think their actions have no consequences. They only care about themselves and don't treat others with respect.

Also, a lot of parents get really sensitive about their kids. Some parents try to live vicariously through their children to the point of outright delusion, sometimes as a way to cope for what they themselves never accomplished in life. They expect that their kids are going to become professional athletes just because it's what they hope for, and any official making a call that doesn't go their way, or in some cases even an opposing player just doing his job, becomes seen as an antagonist preventing their child from achieving his destiny of becoming a star athlete. They then act viciously towards those opposing players or officials who through no fault of their own expose the reality that the "special" child just isn't that good. Or doesn't know how to play without fouling.

The sad thing is that there is a shortage of referees across sports across the country, particularly youth, and part of it is because people know that they could get assaulted by these crazy parents. Without refs to officiate games, we can't have proper sports. Which will mean less opportunities for everyone.

However, as someone who spends a lot of time around non-revenue sports and has spent time at a D2 school, I also want to encourage people to realize that its not all doom and gloom. There are a lot of young people out there who are not like the types I just described. I find that people who play competitive sports at older age levels (usually college) in sports or at levels that don't get much money or attention tend to be a lot more humble and respectful. This may be because these athletes usually have faced some adversity, been told they weren't good enough, and had to make sacrifices in other areas of life to continue playing their sport. People who do this tend to genuinely love and respect the game. They also recognize that they are lucky to have the opportunity to play because they understand that they don't have a bunch of external money and attention propping them up. They often have to take care of their own fields and equipment, buy some of their own gear and resources, and find their own ways to take care of themselves in the limited training facilities and weight rooms that may be available. And that's not even mentioning tuition cost, as many of them are also working jobs to cover costs.

I have witnessed some truly beautiful moments of camaraderie in such environments over the years. There's something about the realization that nobody else really cares, that the athletes themselves are essentially responsible for putting on the event, that creates a bond and an appreciation for the game. The athletes on opposing teams have a lot of respect for each other that you don't see as much in larger market sports because they realize that they're all working towards the same goal. And that usually includes the officials as well, as people respect them doing what they do to make the game possible. Now that doesn't mean people won't blow up about a bad call from time to time. But I think most people understand that it isn't personal and that from time to time bad calls are going to happen, especially with limited officiating crews and no replay. It's just part of the game, no reason to demonize a ref. And often times if people lose their cool in the moment they can apologize and make right later once they've settled down and can see the bigger picture. Anyways, sorry for rambling, that's just a perspective I thought I'd share.

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I've coached and refereed everything from 4th-6th grade basketball to NCAA Division I volleyball. Most of my experience falls in the middle of that: varsity high school basketball (coach) and varsity high school volleyball (official).

I don't mind coaching the littles in basketball, but I hate refereeing it. I love calling high level high school volleyball and hate going to the schools where volleyball is the lowest priority.

What I find is that the more you are required to pay to play, the quality of the participants and parents go up. By no means am I saying that one's income level determines or reveals character. I'm a lower middle class middle aged guy and not any kind of elite.

What I mean is that if there is a low barrier to entrance, you often get the worst of society.

We used to attend the air show on Charleston Air Force Base. It was free and of course absolutely packed. I suggested to no one that had any say in it that the admission should be $1 instead of free. The attendance would drop, but the quality and enjoyment of the day would go up immensely.

The travel volleyball that I've officiated had as a part of its rules that parents were to only cheer positively for their kid or team, and anything outside of that would get you removed and bar you from future events. Referees had the power over this and their word was final. Guess how the parents acted? Guess how the kids and coaches acted?

I also got paid a pretty sum for doing it, but I had to attend much training and had to perform at a high level to even be considered for this league. Oftentimes in these rec league games, you have kids just a couple years older than the participants officiating. They are horrible but they're all that can be afforded at a rate of $5 a game or a free meal from the concession stand.

Bottom line: if you want it done right and done well, you have to pay for quality.

What is the world coming to?