So, I was just taking a break from finalizing my 4th of July fireworks order and saw a tweet from Arby’s bragging about the smell of their meat. I get bragging about how your meat smells, but their tweets send me into a fit of rage. It happens every time, but for some reason I can’t get myself to unfollow them. It’s like “hate watching” SEC football at 3:30 on Saturdays.

As y’all know, Arby’s stopped serving potato cakes in May of 2021 and I still haven’t found a suitable fried potato replacement. McDonald’s breakfast hash browns are pretty solid, but they stop serving them at 10:30 which means I have to get up early and they get too soggy later in the day if you try to order enough to last into the afternoon.

It has gotten to the point where I even get mad when driving by an Arby’s. I’ve caught myself yelling at other drivers on the road around me. I still feel bad for giving the finger to a little old lady who was taking too much time to turn left last November. I didn’t know it was a little old lady until it was too late and it made me sad the rest of the day. I blame Arby’s for this obviously.

Anyhow, my therapist has told me to think happy thoughts whenever I feel this way. Naturally, I take a deep breath and start thinking about Clemson football. Today it was especially bad and I started thinking about what would happen if Clemson eliminated something I love, like the run down The Hill. I’m finally over the balloon banishment of 2018 and don’t want to go through that again.

I sometimes think it would be easier to be a fan of a school like Ohio State or Auburn where they don’t have any traditions that matter.

End rant. Go Tigers!

For real, or is this an elaborate ruse to make me drive all that way to find out you were kidding?