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So, this weekend we decide to do a little yard work.
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So, this weekend we decide to do a little yard work.


Apr 17, 2012, 11:56 AM

Planted some veggies, general clean up, etc.

I was out there with the dog-of-jbvarnad, daughter-of-jbvarnad, and wife-of-jbvarnad for about 2 hours.

Not too bad, but everybody got a little grubby.

So, being brilliant, I decided to kill two birds with one stone and clean up dog-of-jbvarnad at the same time I take a shower.

I make the mistake of getting nekkid before putting dog-of-jbvarnad into the shower - and somehow she morphs from a 30 pound Boykin Spaniel into a 100 pound, double-jointed Puma in the middle of the bathroom. She scratches the hayull outta meh legs during the process of getting her into the shower - which I feel is a blessing as it coulda been meh junk.

Anyhoo, I'm showering away happily and dog-of-jbvarnad is miserable (and has now morphed back into a dog)...and, still being brilliant, I decide to get back at dog-of-jbvarnad by peeing on her. She notices and turns towards me and starts drinking my urine. This startles me and I immediately pinch off the flow. Which stings horribly.

Shower ends and I dry off first, then her. She proceeds to shake wet dog hair all over my freshly cleaned self and jumps, soaking wet, onto the bed and immediately starts licking her taint.

For those of you keeping score:

dog-of-jbvarnad - 3.

jbvarnad - 0.

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